The Ten Commandments of Technology: I dreamed dreams and saw visions (it happens when you fall asleep watching the curling).
I dreamt the cloud opened and a booming voice bellowed: You shall be the prophet of my ten commandments of technology for small business.
“Is that profit with an F or prophet with a PH?” I asked.
There followed a small, still silence.
Then an angel appeared with a tablet.
And the booming voice recited the following commandments:
Thou shalt patch regularly, both Windows, both Mac, all thy devices, be they tablet, phone, laptop or desktop. All these thou shalt patch monthly as protection against the dark forces.
Thou shalt install Antivirus, both Windows, both Mac, all devices, be they tablet, phone, laptop or desktop. All these thou shalt protect against the dark forces.
Thou shalt not take Steve Jobs’ name in vain.
Thou shalt protect thy clients’ data as thy own. Thou shalt comply with privacy laws, federal or provincial, as is thy business lot. Protect all this data against the dark forces.
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s shiny white iThingy. Not shalt thou covet thy neighbour’s black tech toy. These craven idols might not be appropriate for thee and thy business lot.
Thou shalt not hit reply all to group emails. Verily I say unto you those who repeatedly hit reply all shall be in danger of a special circle in hell.
Thou shalt regularly update thy WordPress web site. Update both with content and with security updates. Protect thy site from the dark forces.
Thou shalt manage thy passwords securely and produce passwords that shalt defy the dark forces.
Thou shalt backup thy data. Thou shalt backup thy data both locally and offsite. Thou shalt regularly test thy backups. Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God.
Thou shalt educate thyself and thy employees about the ways of the dark forces. Regularly learn what phishes, what social engineering and other evil pretenses the dastardly dark forces use against my children.
“Wow, I must be your prophet because I’ve been telling small business owners these things for years”, I said.
“Thou shalt spread my commandments both by blog and by social media. Small businesses that follow these, my tech commandments, shall have peace and protection from the dark forces.”
“If you’re God, don’t you have your own blog and social media?” I asked.
And then I heard something about 5 payments of $19.99 and realized I was awake and the television was still on.
So I have faithfully written down the commandments as I received them in my dream. Amen.